Joan Didion said “I think we are well advised to keep on nodding terms with the people we used to be, whether we find them attractive company or not. Otherwise, they turn up unannounced and surprise us, come hammering on the mind’s door at 4 A.M. of a bad night and demand to know who deserted them, who betrayed them, who is going to make amends.”

You can’t remake yourself, whenever you wish. You can’t completely discard older versions of yourself like incremental software upgrades. It doesn’t work like that. You can’t learn from that. You need to be able to continually progress while maintaining a part of who you were.

I think there’s a beauty in remembering the clothes we used to wear. The books we used to read. The people we used to care for, and hurt. When you stop remembering, you stop moving.

 Don’t stay in a relationship just because you feel guilty about leaving someone. Don’t stay at a job because you feel like they wouldn’t be able to survive without you. Don’t maintain an unhealthy friendship because you feel like they need you. Don’t do anything for anyone if you are sacrificing yourself in the process.

Have you heard the saying, “You’ve got to fall in love with yourself first”? Well if you want a truly amazing and abundant life, I’m telling you, you need to make it your mantra!

Now, I’m sure those voices in your head might be thinking this sounds mighty selfish, but I’m here to tell you it’s the exact opposite. When you’re loving yourself and putting yourself first, EVERYTHING in your life benefits. But don’t be too greedy r too selfish, you need to balance so everybody around you can live normal life and progress too. Loving yourself means caring for yourself deeply, making your sleep, nutrition, and well-being a priority. It can be anything from making your gym time nonnegotiable or canceling late-night plans so you can get enough sleep, to just shutting the computer off or not checking your cell phone after a certain hour. It’s about listening to your body and giving it what it needs to feel its best.

I certainly slip up from time to time, but when I hit a certain state of overwhelm and anxiety, I take a breather, I pray, take a long hot shower, a good meditation timeout to cleanse your self from all the negative people and ideas, and I remind myself of these five things below .

Before any other point system or idea, you must have faith in God and your self.Make a radical change in the lifestyle of the believer from the way once you.Starts with repent and forgive those who hurt you and forgive your self. we were alienated from God and strangers to his kingdom. But with faith and grace of God, we are citizens of God’s kingdom and members of his everlasting life.Then you can look at many point systems and you can arrange their priorities according to your situation.

1. Your job can wait (and it needs to).

You’re a much better worker, creative thinker and faster executor when you take care of yourself, which means the project that will take your frazzled, overwhelmed mind four hours will take your well-rested, clear head two. It’s always worth it to get adequate sleep, make your “me” time a priority and show up to whatever task you have at hand that day as your best self. Your boss will thank you and your career will blossom much faster if you don’t burn yourself out.

2. Your health depends on it.

Seriously! This is a pretty obvious one. Have you ever noticed that after a crazy, stressful week of pulling long hours at work and feeling overwhelmed, you finally get to the weekend and you wake up sick and don’t leave the bed? So if you don’t put yourself first, your body will certainly kick in and force you to! As mine did, for 40 years I give and still do 100% to my job and my boss never called in sick, take the emergency calls and stay late. But in the end when there is a promotion nobody remember all of that, nobody care of what you did.

Stress and lack of sleep weaken your body’s immune system and leave you more vulnerable to all sorts of nasty illnesses from cold, flue, skin and eye elegies, thyroid problem, anger issues, and hormones imbalances. Don’t even risk it!

3. Your romantic relationships will flourish.

Whether you’re  in a relationship or looking for one, I guarantee your partner will feel more enamored with you and more fulfilled in the relationship when you’re not afraid to make yourself a priority. First, by taking the necessary time for yourself, you give your partner the freedom to take that time for him or herself, so you don’t drift away and the romance will have a chance to grow. Everybody wins, everybody’s happy! Second, when you’re well rested, relaxed and centered, you’re much more fun to be around. It’s OK if your partner misses you for a night because you need a yoga session and a bubble bath; the version of you she gets afterward is 10 times the partner your stressed-out self would be. Trust this.That’s not to say you go for a drink with your friends every night.

4. Your friends and family will benefit.

You think your friends and family don’t realize when they’re talking to you and you’re half asleep or mentally distracted? Think again. These people know you best and love you most’ they would much rather have you happy, healthy and clearheaded when they see you. Yes, even if that’s a little less often because you needed to take some time for yourself! You’ll be a better listener and more enjoyable to be around because you will be able to be truly present with them.

5. Most importantly, you’ll start smiling more.

When you are at your happiest, you are at your most helpful to the world. We should all strive to be our happiest and do those things that make us happy, every day. Don’t feel guilty about it, you are able to show up more for others when you start showing up for yourself first. So don’t be afraid to clear your schedule for a restorative yoga class, take a walk in the park on your lunch break or get yourself a massage, don’t be afraid to love you! After all, you are pretty fabulous.Be kind, generous, fun to be around not someone who sucks the life out of the workplace.Be someone who brings a sunshine to the place and not a poison cloud to the place.

Steve Ramsey, Ph.D. Calgary -Alberta – Canada