You feel angry because of some weakness. When you want to do something but are not able to do it, then that incapability evokes anger in you.
When you are capable and powerful, why would you feel angry? You never get angry over an ant or a fly. You never get angry with someone or something inferior. We get angry at someone who is greater or mightier than us. We feel angry when we see or find something that is beyond our skills or capabilities. We get angry when we feel that someone does not obey what we say. Anger arises when we think that our words carry far more importance than us.
So anger does cause pain when it arises. It can be road rage, fighting in the bar, some one make you upset by looking and touching your woman, some one entering your home or car and stealing or destroying your property , you feel angry at your self when you get stop by a police to give you speeding ticket,when you fail an exam or dont get the job you want. some people feel angry at God him self !
You feel angry because of some weakness. When you want to do something but are not able to do it, then that incapability evokes anger in you, and anger causes pain when it arises.
Sometimes it becomes necessary to display some anger too. Anger used simply for display should be used as a weapon. So you get angry, but you remain calm and unshaken from within. With such (display of) anger, your blood pressure will not rise, you will not become shaky and heated up.
See, a mother often scolds her child over something or the other, but at the same time she smiles at her husband. Although today the scenario could be reverse as well (laughter). She may scold someone in anger, and smile cheerfully at someone else. But this anger does not trouble her, or give her a headache. It does not ruin her sleep. So being angry for the sake of display is alright.
Why do we do that? It is because sometimes people do not understand things by simple words, even if you explain the same thing 10 times. So then in the 11th instance, you need to show some anger to make them serious.
It is alright to be angry for the sake of someone else’s welfare, but not for your own selfish motives. That will only harm you. Getting angry because someone is insulting you only brings harm to you and no one else. Getting angry at someone in order to stop them from harm when they are deliberately walking into a ditch (meaning a wrong path or action) – that anger is actually beneficial. Bad anger can harm your adrenal and hormones level, pancreas and thyroid and can effect wide range of muscular and organs in your body.
The Dalai Lama recently answered the question, “Is there a positive form of anger?” by saying that righteous anger is a “defilement” or “afflictive emotion”–a Buddhist term translated from the Sanskrit word
klesha
–that must be eliminated if one seeks to achieve nirvana. He added that although anger might have some positive effects in terms of survival or moral outrage, he did not accept anger of any kind as a virtuous emotion nor aggression as constructive behavior.
Buddhism in general teaches that anger is a destructive emotion and that there is no good example of it. The Buddha taught that three basic kleshas are at the root of samsara (bondage, illusion) and the vicious cycle of rebirth. These are greed, hatred, and delusion–also translatable as attachment, anger, and ignorance. They bring us confusion and misery rather than peace, happiness, and fulfillment. It is in our own self-interest to purify and transform them.their own sacred power, their own particular intelligence, wisdom, and logic. The late Tibetan teacher Chogyam Tryungpa Rinpoche often taught that five kleshas (in the Tibetan tradition, they are greed, hatred, delusion, pride, and jealousy) are in essence five wisdoms. The wisdom side of anger, for example, is discriminating awareness.
How can this be? Anger makes us sharp and quick to criticize, but anger also helps us see what’s wrong. Our feelings and emotions are actually serving like intelligence agents, bringing in news from the field of our experience. We should not dismiss, ignore, or repress them.
In Tibetan tantric iconography, moreover, not all the Buddhas and meditational deities are pacific. Some are surrounded by flames and wear fierce masks symbolizing the shadow side of our psyches. Yet it is always taught that the wrathful buddhas and “dharma protectors” have peaceful Buddha at their hearts. Perhaps this is connected to the modern, Western notion that righteous anger can help drive compassionate action to redress injustices in the world.
Anger can increase stress level and affect your happiness .If you are angry and sad that can be a result of many things
- You are not doing Smarter and more creative decision, at your job,family, life and personal relationship.
- You become more unstable and unhappy in your marriage and with family members.
- you dont and cant make make more money
- You become un healthier , gain or lose weight ,sleep more and feel tired all the time.
- You will die young.
you can have 50 of them or one of them; You must stay calm, listen , understand, be positive about the issue, get the facts , use tactics, attack the problem no the person, avoid the blaming game, focus on the future not the past, ask the right question, pick your battle and time, don’t scream, make an eye contact, link offers and share the idea how to fix and how to stop it from happening again, be creative and celebrate agreement be friendly.
Thank you for reading.
Steve Ramsey
PhD- Public Health.
Calgary, Alberta.