Suicide is the act of killing yourself, most often as a result of depression or other mental illness. In the United States, suicide accounts for about 2 percent of all deaths. Rates are highest for men over 69, but are increasing alarmingly in young people aged 15 to 24. Adapted fro m the Encyclopedia of Psychology
When I was 14 years old I had an argument with my parents and they never resolved it for me . I had it with you I hate you. I told my parents. I walked away. I will jump from the bridge in the river and end it so you dont have to deal with me any longer , I told yelled while i walking toward the door. My dad laughed and said you cant even swim you drowned once and was saved and now no one will save you if you jump. You will end up in hell if you kill you self.
Of course I was bluffing as deep in my heart i want to live for ever. My mother was sad and run toward the door and i kept moving forward , she did follow me.
I know she was behind me and i went toward the bridge 10 minutes form our home. I was walking slow she she catch up with me. I turned to see where is she, and I couldn’t find her ! I turned back to see where she was, I was Looking around left and right , moving to different direction and I was so distracted that I forgot I was in a mission to jump from the bridge .where is my MOM I wondered ,why she left me and went back ,I asked my self.
From a distant I saw my mother moving from behind the tree toward the bridge a head of me she made her self that she is going toward the bridge so I can follow her. Now I am following her instead. I walked behind her and she start walking faster and faster , Why she is running toward the bridge I asked my self again.
I totally forgot about my problem and I started worrying about her .I saw her going to the bridge and sat on the edge pretending to jump .I run after here screaming Mom, Mom dont do that , why are you trying to jump and kill your self ,I am sorry, I told her while I was running toward her. she turned and told me who cares son, if you want to jump I will kill my self too I love you and Life will be sad with out you , so I better end it right now so I dont face the sad news. Stop it, will you stop it and lets talk , I said.
I am sorry that I made you mad, and I dont want to jump from the bridge at all I was bluffing .I told her while I was out of breath from following her.She came down from the edge and hold me and told me, lets go home .
While we were walking I asked her a question, Mom how come you standing on the edge of the bridge and not in the middle of the bridge ? what you mean son, she replied . I mean if you jump from the edge you will hit the rocks and that will hurt allot before you reach the water.but if you jump from the middle you will hit the water and it will be easy and fast. You watch too much TV my son, she told me .
The worse if you hit the muddy part of the river mom , I said . Why is that, she replied .Because if you jump and hit the muddy part your legs will be stuck in the river and your face will be in the air , the fish will bite your legs and you cant move, I told her while she was holding my hand , and we both laughed and said let us forget about what had happened , dont tell your dad or any body and let us forget about jumping and death .I agree mom I love you too, I replied .
Let us go and buy fish to cook for lunch ,she said. OK mom lets go and eat the fish instead the other way around. How come fish dont drawn mom I asked.and asked her other 15 questions with out any answer from her. I will hold you and throw you in the river if you ask me all these non sense question son. she replied . I shut my mouth and walked thinking of lunch .
Life is so beautiful when you have people who care about you, advise you , forgive you, teach you, dont judge you, be kind to you , encourage you , and guide you even if you ask a silly question . Life is all about others , my mother wanted to jump because she cant live with sadness if she loses me , I know now she was testing me but at that time I didn’t know , she told me that no matter how hard life is we must strive and fight to get out of our chain and slavery , our depression stress and sad emotion , Life is all about helping others , working smart and wise , strive hard and wait for the moment when your life will is transformed.
Thank you fr reading.
Steve Ramsey, PhD. Calgary – Alberta