The first is when someone’s mistake bothers you, and the second is when you correct someone for their own sake so they can grow, not because it bothers you. Correcting mistakes for the first reason – when the mistake bothers you – does not work.

To correct mistakes you need both authority and love. Authority and love seem to be contradictory but in reality they are not. Authority without love is stifling and does not work. Love without authority is shallow. You need both but they need to be in the right combination so you can be successful in correcting others’ mistakes. This can happen if you are totally dispassionate and centered. When you allow room for mistakes, you can be both authoritative and sweet. That is how the Divine is – the right balance of both. Krishna and Jesus had both. People in love also exercise authority with those they love. Authority and love exist in all relationships.

As individuals, we sometimes feel that we have not done anything wrong, yet the other person believes that some injustice has been done to him. If the other perceives us as the cause for their pain or suffering, it is wise for us to ask for their forgiveness.

Yet we commit so much mistakes and sin against God orders , in our lust, envy, jealousy, anger, breaking the commandments, lie, steal, cheat, swear ,commit the 7 sins daily and so on . We never apologize to God or say sorry!

Someone saw me in my house that I followed a fly got in my house from the garden, so I took a soft tissue and gently captured the fly then released her back to the garden , he said are you stupid wasting your time with this fly and she might come back to your house ? Why you don’t kill her?

Why, I answered, why should I kill she is not harming me, she is lost and I gave her

Life to live another day is it that more generous, merciful and beautiful to see all life forms have another chance. If it was a scorpion or poisonous snake that will be a different story. So to me she wasn’t an evil enemy or dangerous killer.

Even when we walk, or talk or do something else any action has some flaws, and it might effects other living been. Any of our actions could have hurt someone. Therefore, if without our knowledge, our actions have hurt someone, we should not hesitate to ask for forgiveness. Knowingly or unknowingly, intentionally or unintentionally, if you have hurt someone by your thought, word, or deed  you ask that they forgive you.

Neither forgiving nor asking forgiveness will make one’s social status go down. In fact, it shows one’s strength. You are taking responsibility for clearing up some conflict that has happened in the past, and bringing harmony in its place. The respect that you gain by your compassion, by your broadmindedness, cannot be lost.

Today, there is so much hatred, tension and violence in the world. There is domestic violence at home, violence between communities, and conflicts between countries. If everyone in the world could practice forgiveness both asking and giving , many of the world’s conflicts could be solved. Many of the conflicts in families, and in relationships would be solved.

We do not plan our own mistakes. Most of them stem from a lack of awareness. If you do not plan your mistakes, what makes you think that the other person plans their mistakes? All mistakes are made out of either a lack of awareness or ignorance. When we do not have compassion for someone when they make a mistake and forgive them, then we will seek revenge. We then become bound to a cycle of negative feelings. Forgiveness shields and protects our mind and spirit from being violent.

Have compassion for those who have hurt you. When you think of forgiving, you normally think of someone as a culprit and you see an intention behind the culprit’s mistake. When you are compassionate you recognize the ignorance behind the person’s mistake. Compassion is even better than forgiveness. In forgiveness, you see an intention behind a mistake, but in compassion you go a step further and look into the person’s heart, beyond their words, beyond their behavior, and see the wound in the person that caused them to make the mistake. When there is a wound inside individuals, they will try to share it with other people. What else can they do?

Often, in establishing your righteousness, you are insensitive to others’ feelings. When someone is hurt, arguing with them and establishing your righteousness will be in vain. By simply saying “sorry,” you can uplift the other person and take away the bitterness. In many situations saying “sorry” is better than establishing your righteousness it can avert much unpleasantness.

This one word of five letters, when said sincerely, can remove anger, guilt, hatred and distance. Many people feel pride in hearing “sorry” from others it boosts their ego. But when you say “sorry” to a wise man, it evokes compassion at your ignorance

A mistake is part of an unconscious mind. An unconscious mind cannot do right, while a conscious mind can do no wrong. The mind that makes the mistake and the mind that realizes the mistake , saying “sorry”, are entirely different, aren’t they!

When people keep remind you with past mistake; Smile and move forward. If they are not able to forget the mistakes of the past, then that is their problem. 

You should forget the mistakes of the past just drop it and move ahead. You are not the same person as you were in the past when you committed those mistakes, you have changed. When you came to the spiritual path, when you gained this wonderful knowledge, then your entire life has changed. So have complete and unshakeable faith in this fact.

Ignorant people around you may sometimes do such things, but you should have compassion for them instead of feeling hurt or angry. Think that, “Oh, they are still stuck and do not know that I am a totally different person now. I have changed”. This faith you must develop in yourself. There is no need to fall into self-pity.

 Forgiveness in the Quran and Sunnah

Allah the Exalted said:

وَلْيَعْفُوا وَلْيَصْفَحُوا ۗ أَلَا تُحِبُّونَ أَن يَغْفِرَ اللَّهُ لَكُمْ ۗ وَاللَّهُ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ

Let them pardon and overlook. Would you not love for Allah to forgive you? Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.

Surat An-Nur 24:22

And Allah said:

خُذِ الْعَفْوَ وَأْمُرْ بِالْعُرْفِ وَأَعْرِضْ عَنِ الْجَاهِلِينَ

Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the ignorant.

Surat Al-A’raf 7:199

And Allah said:

وَإِنَّ السَّاعَةَ لَآتِيَةٌ ۖ فَاصْفَحِ الصَّفْحَ الْجَمِيلَ

Verily, the Hour is coming, so forgive them with gracious forgiveness.

Surat Al-Hijr 15:85

And Allah said:

الَّذِينَ يُنفِقُونَ فِي السَّرَّاءِ وَالضَّرَّاءِ وَالْكَاظِمِينَ الْغَيْظَ وَالْعَافِينَ عَنِ النَّاسِ ۗ وَاللَّهُ يُحِبُّ الْمُحْسِنِينَ

The believers are those who spend in charity during ease and hardship and who restrain their anger and pardon the people, for Allah loves the doers of good.

Surat Ali Imran 3:134

And Allah said:

وَالْمَلَائِكَةُ يُسَبِّحُونَ بِحَمْدِ رَبِّهِمْ وَيَسْتَغْفِرُونَ لِمَن فِي الْأَرْضِ ۗ أَلَا إِنَّ اللَّهَ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ

The angels glorify and praise their Lord and seek forgiveness for those on the earth. Verily, Allah is the Forgiving, the Merciful.

Surat Ash-Shura 42:5

And Allah said:

وَلَمَن صَبَرَ وَغَفَرَ إِنَّ ذَٰلِكَ لَمِنْ عَزْمِ الْأُمُورِ

Whoever is patient and forgives, verily, that is among the matters of steadfast determination.

Surah Ash-Shura 42:43

And Allah said:

قُل لِّلَّذِينَ آمَنُوا يَغْفِرُوا لِلَّذِينَ لَا يَرْجُونَ أَيَّامَ اللَّهِ لِيَجْزِيَ قَوْمًا بِمَا كَانُوا يَكْسِبُونَ

Say to those who believe that they should forgive those who expect not the days of Allah, as it is for Him to recompense people for what they have earned.

Surat Al-Jathiyah 45:14

Abdullah ibn Mas’ud reported: I saw the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, tell the story of a prophet who was beaten by his people and he wiped the blood from his face, saying:

رَبِّ اغْفِرْ لِقَوْمِي فَإِنَّهُمْ لاَ يَعْلَمُونَ

My Lord, forgive my people for they do not know.

Source: Sahih Bukhari

Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

مَا نَقَصَتْ صَدَقَةٌ مِنْ مَالٍ وَمَا زَادَ اللَّهُ عَبْدًا بِعَفْوٍ إِلاَّ عِزًّا وَمَا تَوَاضَعَ أَحَدٌ لِلَّهِ إِلاَّ رَفَعَهُ اللَّهُ

Charity does not decrease wealth, no one forgives except that Allah increases his honor, and no one humbles himself for the sake of Allah except that Allah raises his status.

Source: Sahih Muslim

Abdullah ibn Amr reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, was upon the pulpit and he said:

ارْحَمُوا تُرْحَمُوا وَاغْفِرُوا يَغْفِرْ اللَّهُ لَكُمْ

Be merciful to others and you will receive mercy. Forgive others and Allah will forgive you.

Source: Musnad Ahmad

Abu Abdullah Al-Khadali reported: I asked Aisha about the character of the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him. Aisha said:

لَمْ يَكُنْ فَاحِشًا وَلَا مُتَفَحِّشًا وَلَا صَخَّابًا فِي الْأَسْوَاقِ وَلَا يَجْزِي بِالسَّيِّئَةِ السَّيِّئَةَ وَلَكِنْ يَعْفُو وَيَصْفَحُ

The Prophet was not indecent, he was not obscene, he would not shout in the markets, and he would not respond to an evil deed with an evil deed, but rather he would pardon and overlook.

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi

Ata ibn Yasar reported: I met Abdullah ibn Amr and I said, “Tell me about the description of the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, in the Torah.” Abdullah said:

أَجَلْ وَاللَّهِ إِنَّهُ لَمَوْصُوفٌ فِي التَّوْرَاةِ بِبَعْضِ صِفَتِهِ فِي الْقُرْآنِ‏ ‏يَا أَيُّهَا النَّبِيُّ إِنَّا أَرْسَلْنَاكَ شَاهِدًا وَمُبَشِّرًا وَنَذِيرًا‏ وَحِرْزًا لِلأُمِّيِّينَ أَنْتَ عَبْدِي وَرَسُولِي سَمَّيْتُكَ الْمُتَوَكِّلَ لَيْسَ بِفَظٍّ وَلاَ غَلِيظٍ وَلاَ صَخَّابٍ فِي الأَسْوَاقِ وَلاَ يَدْفَعُ بِالسَّيِّئَةِ السَّيِّئَةَ وَلَكِنْ يَعْفُو وَيَغْفِرُ

By Allah, he is described in the Torah with some of what is mention in the Quran: O Prophet, We have sent you as a witness, a bringer of glad tidings, and to give warning, (33:45) and to guard over the illiterate, for you are My servant and messenger. I have called you a trustworthy man who is neither rude nor loud in the markets, nor does he return evil with evil, but rather he pardons and forgives.

Source: Sahih Bukhari

Uqbah ibn Amir reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

يَا عُقْبَةُ بْنَ عَامِرٍ صِلْ مَنْ قَطَعَكَ وَأَعْطِ مَنْ حَرَمَكَ وَاعْفُ عَمَّنْ ظَلَمَكَ

O Uqbah, reconcile whoever cuts you off, give to whoever deprives you, and pardon whoever wrongs you.

Source: Musnad Ahmad Aisha reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

اللَّهُمَّ إِنَّكَ عُفُوٌّ كَرِيمٌ تُحِبُّ الْعَفْوَ

O Allah, You are forgiving and generous. You love to forgive.

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi

Anas ibn Malik reported:

مَا رَأَيْتُ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ رُفِعَ إِلَيْهِ شَيْءٌ فِيهِ قِصَاصٌ إِلَّا أَمَرَ فِيهِ بِالْعَفْوِ

I never saw a case involving legal retaliation being referred to the Messenger of Allah except that he would recommend pardoning the criminal.

Source: Sunan Abu Dawud

Aisha reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

فَإِنَّ الْإِمَامَ أَنْ يُخْطِئَ فِي الْعَفْوِ خَيْرٌ مِنْ أَنْ يُخْطِئَ فِي الْعُقُوبَةِ

Verily, it is better for the leader to make a mistake forgiving the criminal than it is for him to make a mistake punishing the innocent.

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi Abdullah ibn Umar reported: A man came to the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, and he said, “O Messenger of Allah, how many times should I pardon my servant?” The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

Ibn Abbas reported: A man entered the presence of Umar and he said, “O son of Khattab! You do not give us enough, nor are you just with us!” Umar became angry and was about to strike him when Al-Hurr said:

يَا أَمِيرَ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ إِنَّ اللَّهَ تَعَالَى قَالَ لِنَبِيِّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ  خُذْ الْعَفْوَ وَأْمُرْ بِالْعُرْفِ وَأَعْرِضْ عَنْ الْجَاهِلِينَ وَإِنَّ هَذَا مِنْ الْجَاهِلِينَ

O leader of the believers, Allah said to His Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him: Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the ignorant (7:199). Verily, this man is ignorant.

Ibn Abbas said:

وَاللَّهِ مَا جَاوَزَهَا عُمَرُ حِينَ تَلَاهَا عَلَيْهِ وَكَانَ وَقَّافًا عِنْدَ كِتَابِ اللَّهِ

By Allah, Umar became still when this verse was recited upon him. He always adhered strictly to the Book of Allah.

Source: Sahih Bukhari

Qabisa ibn Jabir reported: Umar ibn Al-Khattab, may Allah be pleased with him, said:

مَنْ لا يَرْحَمُ لا يُرْحَمُ وَلا يُغْفَرُ مَنْ لا يَغْفِرُ وَلا يُعْفَ عَمَّنْ لَمْ يَعْفُ وَلا يُوقَّ مَنْ لا يَتَوَقَّ

Whoever does not show mercy will not receive mercy. Whoever does not forgive others will not be forgiven. Whoever does not pardon others will not be pardoned. Whoever does not protect others will not be protected.

Source: Al-Adab Al-Mufrad

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 Some verses of  forgiveness in the bible

Ephesians 4:32 ESV / 2,

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, so God forgave you.

Mark 11:25 ESV /

And whenever you stand praying, forgive; if you have anything against anyone, so that you’re Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”

1 John 1:9 ESV /  

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Matthew 6:15 ESV /

But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Luke 6:37 ESV /

“Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven;

Colossians 3:13 ESV /

Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

James 5:16 ESV /

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.